My Influence on 田野町

I started to exercise a few months ago in an attempt to get in some sort of physical condition for a football tournament I went to last November. I'm pleased to say that I regained some level of my previous fitness. A hard task after it had been taken away from me due to years of binge drinking Japanese beer. My regime was not exactly perfect and all I did was run around with a ball on my own (oh the loneliness of exercise) at an open piece of ground in my town. The area is only about half the size of a football pitch and is mainly used by old women in the afternoon who walk around in a circle. I think they were a bit nervous the first few times I went there as I was a hairy foreigner who was slowly dragging his beer gut around the place in an ancient Brazil top. However, we soon got to know each other a little and I would change sides as they walked around so as not to scare them. It was the best of times for all concerned. I stopped this brief flourish of flirtations with my energetic youth a few weeks ago but was thinking about starting again as the warmth of the sun has recently returned.

However, the other day I was told by my American colleague that someone in my office had asked if I had been "playing soccer with cleats." Apparently somebody had made a complaint against me two months ago as I didn't "rake the dirt" after I was finished.  I must explain some things about Japan before I begin my defence. There is no grass in Japan. At all. That means that the vast majority of sports fields consist of a sort of sandy dirt. The quality of this dirt can vary from place to place. A professional baseball team will have the top of the line dirt. A junior high school in the countryside will have... some variation of this dirt. A derelict piece of land on the edge of a town will merely consist of some sand and rocks. In Japan, when a team finishes training they are required to rake the entire field. I think this is stupid but I know it's polite and it's what you do in Japan so I've joined in with only minimal complaint. Indeed, I have even done this when faced with the obvious fact that it was about to rain immediately after we'd finished. I have even looked for the rakes in Tano after previous stints of exercise only to find one the size of a small forest that can only be pulled by a truck. Also, I only wore my studded football once. I never wore them again because the ground was like concrete and it destroyed my knees.

I wrote a lot there so let me write down the basics: Somebody made a complaint against me two months ago for the one day I wore studded shoes. The complaint being that I didn't rake the non-existent dirt with the non-existent rakes. I was told of this complaint by the other foreigner in my office with the assumption being that I wouldn't understand the Japanese. I then noticed on another colleague's desk that they were making a sign regarding wearing studded shoes... in Japanese:

The sign was put up at the entrance the other day. It is a notice of attention regarding the public park. It says you should maintain the park after use and that "spikes" are not allowed unless you have permission from the Board of Education. It then says that you should always take your rubbish away with you and never to use fireworks or firecrackers. You'll be pleased to know I've been a good boy in regards to the other rules. The bit in yellow at the bottom reminds you that everyone uses this park and so (the foreigner scum) you should be polite and remember your manners.

There are still no rakes or dirt in the park. I have no problem adapting to such rules but I can't help but laugh at the stupid manner in which this has evolved. I don't know if the sign is meant to be directed at me... in the assumption that I read Japanese but obviously can't have a conversation with a colleague in it. I don't know why it's not the town hall who are in charge of it either. I'm possibly paranoid and think this sign is a direct message to me saying "ask work if you want to go for a run". Here's the precious dirt that I'm meant to keep in good condition:

In recent years I would have let this (lack of) interaction bother me but now I just find it amusing. Indeed, I now look at the sign in a positive way. When people ask me what sort of effect and influence I had on my town over my 4 years on JET I can say that they put a plaque up in my honour.

Comments

[Shug]

Brilliant stuff mate! You really couldn't make this up :)

The whole incident somehow reminded me of this Monty Python sketch :P

http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/four_yorkshiremen.htm

[J.Sherman]

Your only expected to rake the Dirt?!?!! LUXURY!!!!!
In Melbourne we're required to re-apply the pavement after we walk home and if we don't, they fly in some japanese middle manager to get my neighbor to tell me off on behalf of the council.

[Naomi]

I'm gonna be cheeky and barge into your office in my sports clothes with a ball asking where the brushes are. Then I'll give them the classic head tilt. ブーラーシュー！　ブーラーシュー！