Irn-Bru in Japan
January 28, 2011 at 6:41 
The small majority of people who read this blog are probably oblivious to the existence of a Scottish soft drink called Irn-Bru. It is a proud fact amongst frustrated nationalists in my homeland that Scotland is the only country in the world where Coca-Cola or Pepsi is not the best selling carbonated beverage. The taste is hard to describe but I've heard non-Scots compare it to a mixture of cream soda and Dr Pepper. I'm afraid I can't explain it myself because years of drinking the orange nectar has destroyed all of my taste buds. It's an exceptionally sweet drink and the neon glow alone is enough to warn you of its nutritional value. The recipe itself is only known by two people (who can't fly on the same plane) and the essential ingredients are mixed by the Chairman himself once a month. The origins of the drink are quite interesting and stretch back to a Glasgow steel works in 1901. Apparently, the workers were drinking themselves to death with beer in order to quench the thirst created by the molten metal surrounding them. Therefore, a local drinks company approached the steel works and began producing the drink that would later go on to become 'Iron Brew'. A change of law in 1946 meant that the name had to be changed since the drink was not actually brewed. The only iron in the drink is a tiny amount of ammonium citrate (or something) but that didn't stop a popular advertising campaign claim that the drink was "made from girders."
There is a great deal of Scottishness about Irn-Bru and I feel it's a much more modern symbol of our "wee bits and bobs" identity in comparison to whisky, kilts and the like. The drink is very much a part of Scottish life from childhood into adolescence. It reminds me of long summers playing football in the park with my friends before we ran up to the local shop to buy a can with loose copper coins. Even better than that was finding an empty glass bottle of it as you got 20p when you returned it. Irn-Bru is very much the choice of mixer for young teenagers who have miraculously acquired their very first bottle of Paintstripov vodka or Glengutrot whisky. Indeed, the drink is also the best hangover cure known to man and will embrace your broken shell of a body the following morning. Personally, I can't think of anything more nostalgic about Scotland than eating fish and chips with a can of Irn-Bru on a partially sunny afternoon down at the seaside.
Irn-Bru has grown in popularity across the rest of Britain in recent years and there's always a widely reported myth that it is now becoming the most popular drink in Russia. However, it is impossible to find in Japan. Indeed, it is impossible to import it as well. I should know...as I have searched the internet like a heroin addict whenever my homesick cravings kick in. Although I loved Irn-Bru when I lived in Scotland, I never really thought about how often I drank it or how much I would miss it when it was taken away from me. The amount of times I have dreamt about it since moving to Japan three and a half years ago is worrying. The dreams often consist of me being in another country like India or Brazil and stumbling across a glass bottle of it in an foreign imports shop. They always end just as I'm about to purchase it. There are times when I would quite happily pay about £50 for a single can of it. As expected, I drank far too much of it when I returned home this Christmas but managed to remember to stuff a few plastic bottles of it in my suitcase. I would like to let a lot of students try it but there are far too many of them. Therefore, I took a few valuable bottles of it to my adult English class this week:
I told them numerous times how precious a resource this was for a Scotsman in Japan... so much so that I think I scared them off the second bottle I brought. I felt a little bad about this at the time but now I'm exceptionally pleased that I have another stored away in the cupboard. I placed them there because I would drink them all in one go if they were left in the fridge. I began by showing the four gorgeous young ladies a few pictures of people enjoying the drink in Scotland. They were initially cautious due to how foreign and bright orange everything was... and I'm not talking about Glaswegian women. Anyway, the taste testing results proved surprisingly positive. The older generations in Japan aren't too keen on sweet things and Irn-Bru is half sugar. They compared it to a popular drink from their childhood called 粉末ジュース (powder juice) which is exactly what it says it is. I think they still exist today with more flavours but it might be regarded as quite old fashioned. In conclusion, Irn-Bru tastes like a cheap Japanese powdered drink from the 50s and 60s. I also gave them some Scottish macaroon bars which they enjoyed as well.
You may have noticed my amateur attempts at some sort of future marketing campaign for Irn-Bru in Japan. I hope my outstanding work wasn't enough to fool some desperate Scottish people living here. I thought it would make a nice addition to the pictures rather than just uploading them. Also, it's the countryside in winter so the photographs end up looking quite bleak when left alone. Irn-Bru is actually quite well known for it's amusing and occasionally daring adverts. They are accompanied with the usual eye catching blue and orange colours. Therefore, I tried to replicate some of this by trying to be a bit cheeky with my Japanese. However, I've only studied out of a textbook so there are probably a lot of mistakes that some pedantic Japanese speakers can point out for me. All of the posters have Irn-Bru written in katakana which is used for foreign words. It is written as アイアン ブリュー and read as Aian Buruu. Actually, the later is buryuu but foreign words are often said quicker. Also, the bit in white at the bottom means "from Scotland" and is written as スコットランドから and read as Sukottorando kara.
The first poster has 日本上陸 which roughly translates as Landed in Japan. The text below is スコットランドから... 時間通りだよ which I hope is a slightly rude way to say From Scotland... On Time!. Do you see how I've used a rice field to symbolise the glory of Japan? I've intertwined this with the physical and metaphorical landing of a bottle of punctual Irn-Bru from Scotland. I'm a genius.
The second poster has 命の水 which translates as Water of Life. The text below is スコットランドから... ウイスキーよりマシだ which I again hope means From Scotland... Better Than Whisky!. Do you see how I've got a picture of Irn-Bru next to water? It's quite a deep meaning but I hope you'll be able to see the connection over time. Actually, this idea is based on an old advert that called Irn Bru "Scotland's other national drink." Most Japanese people know whisky is from Scotland so you can see the genius behind that. Also, whisky actually means water of life in Gaelic in case you didn't know that. Fool.
The third poster has さよならお茶 and basically means Sayonara Green Tea. It's not exactly my most inspired piece of wit. It sounds better in Japanese I assure you. The piece at the bottom is スコットランドから... 残念ね which kind of means From Scotland... Aww Too Bad. I wanted three of these posters so I spent ages trying to set this up last night only to get green tea leaves all over my bloody floor. There are hundreds of drinks available in Japan but the most popular is still the beloved ocha. I think if this advert happened in real life then no Japanese people would get the joke and might shed a few tears over such an imposing loss.
The fourth and fifth posters are me basically exploited the kind old ladies who let me take pictures of them tasting it. The slogan on the fourth picture is probably a mistake. Although I think it can have two meanings to it so I kept that one on purpose. The first one is おばあちゃんたちは賢い選択した which translates as The Granny's Made a Wise Choice although it's not too catchy when read like this. I think it's possible to read it the wrong way in a kind of Our Grannies Were a Wise Choice. At least I hope so. The last is 多分おいしい which kind of means Maybe Delicious. Again... I'm not sure if the Japanese is a bit off but I wanted to make it catchy.
Anyway, those explanations weren't a lot of fun to write down. The meaning and jokes sounds better in Japanese I think... even though I've probably made mistakes. Ah well, I thought it would be a bit interesting for some Scottish readers to see Irn-Bru written down in Japanese. I don't even think a campaign would work like this in Japan. I imagine they would probably not like the (pretend) insulting and egoistical nature. Also, Japan has so many awful drinks and 'limited edition' campaigns from established brands that I doubt it would ever crack the market... especially if it's compared to a post-war powdered drink. Also, they'd probably think it was called Ion Blue.
I love you, Irn-Bru.
Reader Comments (9)
Actually, I think the 'outsells Pepsi and Coke' thing turned out to be an urban myth, although I can't find a source for that right now...
These photos are absolutely brilliant. Irn bru and slice are probably the only things keeping me in this country nowadays.
Great posters mate. Untill i read the blog i thought they were the real deal and Barrs were trying to launch Irn Bru over there.
Have to say, that old dear in the last image looks like she's not too fond of it :P
these are hilarious craig. :D kondo sensei looks too excited about the photoshoot too. hahaha
I was just waiting for one of a fat japanese kid in a river drinking it like the super gokun posters. hehe
Thanks for the comments chaps. I spent far too much free time at work on them. Actually, I read Irn-Bru and Coke are now about equal... although that's due in part to the latter having more muscle in regards to drinks in McDonalds/cinemas etc.
They did seem to like it... I was surprised.
I only have one bottle left.
This new show with Justin Lee Collins started last week on channel 5. I don't know if you've already came across it Craig. I guess It's worth a watch to show people who haven't been to Japan how mad the place can be :P
http://www.five.tv/shows/justin-lee-collins-turning-japanese/episodes/episode-1-293
I visited Scotland a couple years ago and had the pleasure of trying some Irn-Bru. While I wouldn't want to drink it regularly (I try to avoid soda and sugary drinks), it was quite tasty!
Have just been shortlisted for JET and not sure how I feel about surviving hangovers in a country which lacks Irn-Bru. Why didn't I consider this before?!
It's amazing how much you miss it when it's taken away from you. There is no alternative sadly and there is no such thing as a fry-up. Still, well done on getting on JET and hopefully you'll replace someone great like myself.