A Scotsman in Japan

The End and Fuji

2011-08-04T16:27:00Z

I'm afraid to say that this will be my last entry. I'll leave Japan in about ten hours and will probably not be returning for a long time. Therefore, I think it's only fitting that I put an end to the past four years of escalating pessimism whilst I am still in the country. I feel slightly angry with myself that I didn't update my blog more frequently in the past few months as I had a lot I still wanted to write about. However, the lack of time became an enemy near the end of my Japan life and so I'll perhaps save the rest of my stories for another time.

When I started this blog (in July 2007) I had absolutely no interest in such personal accounts of life and wasn't even registered on a social networking site. I had intended to use this as merely a means of letting my friends and family know how I was getting on. Well, the truth is that I just couldn't be bothered replying to dozens of the same emails and so this was the easier option. However, the blog soon became a good outlet to describe the initial problems and frustrations I encountered whilst in Japan. In recent years I've tried to use it to explain some things about Japan (especially rural Shikoku) that non-Japanese might not know about. I've tended to be miserable and sarcastic in my approach to this but I feel the internet is saturated with positive Japan related blogs about cherry blossoms and various kinds of Kit Kats. Indeed, my wee website has had a good few spikes in popularity over the years and has been featured on English/Japanese sites. I get quite a few readers and I appreciate those who return and those take the time to comment so thanks very much. I might still continue this blog in some form or another so stay tuned if you're interested. Cheers.

I tried to avoid falling into the sterotypical life on a foreigner in Japan but still did as there isn't much else to do. I did my best to leave such generic tales out of my blog but it saddens me to say that I will be ending the blog on the most common of them.

Naomi and I climbed Mount Fuji two days ago. If I were to be honest... I've never really had the desire to attempt such an adventure as I get bored walking and all my friends hate me when they're stuck with me complaining for extended periods of time. However, when faced with the opportunity of doing it just before I left Japan... I felt it was too perfect an opportunity to miss. Mount Fuji is the most visited mountain in the world and about 300000 people climb it during the high season in the summer. A third of these people are foreigners. Still... I kept trying to convince the small romantic corner of my brain that Japan still holds that it would be a perfect and unique experience for both of us. It wasn't. It was a long and painful queue up a boring lump of volcanic rock. I still enjoyed myself with Naomi but I can't say it was a pleasant memory at all. I wasn't prepared enough and got soaked to the bone through a combination of rain and sweat. I was probably only saved from hyperthermia when Naomi forced me to change into some borrowed clothes halfway up. I was aware of the ignorance of stupid gaijin but I still fell into the trap from a combination of cheapness and believing the LIARS who say that "Fuji is a walk in the park". Mount Fuji is still a massive bloody mountain and it should be respected as such despite the "very easy" myth that is thrown out. It's an easy climb if you've got the gear, the weather holds up and there aren't thousands of people in your way. The decent down is terribly painful and dull as well. I could expand on this story more but I'm afraid my time is running out. I will now end this like every other post on my blog. I saturate the entry with about 80-90% of misery and end on a slightly optimistic note you see.

The view from the top of Fuji is absolutely amazing. I feel the sunrise is slightly overated and instead I appreciated the full sky of stars giving way to a stunning view of the forests, lakes and clouds thousands of metres below. The sense of accomplishment is really enjoyable as well when you get over the pain. I think this is the most fitting picture to end my Japan experience on. I look like a mental Glaswegian you see walking about the park scaring the pigeons.

I may have come across as miserable, cynical, bitter, depressed and occasionally unstable during my time in Japan but I wouldn't let that fool you. I've absolutely loved the past four years of my life. Indeed, I wouldn't have stayed here for such a long period of time if I was truly unhappy. I arrived here as a young man of 21 years old... and I'm leaving as a slightly older man with a bit of extra weight. However, I have experienced so much during that brief time that I will fondly remember for the rest of my life. I've met and enjoyed life with many close friends over the years and have grown stronger and more mature with every year. I had no previous desire to come to the country but I am now leaving a place that I have called my home for a number of years now. I feel occasional pangs of sadness but I'm ready to move onto the next part of my life. I don't know what that will hold but I am thankful for my past and I feel exceptionally lucky to have been placed where I was and to have experienced it all with Naomi. I feel the country has given more to me than I have given back in return. I regret not being a better teacher and failing to escape my basic to intermediate Japanese ability. Japan will forever be a small part of me in the future... not that I have much choice since I got a bloody kanji tattoo.

Farewell and thanks for reading.

Stigmatic Risks

2011-08-04T14:24:57Z

I got my tattoo done last Saturday in some trendy area a few minutes walk from Shibuya station. I just searched for anything recommended and stumbled across this place. The parlour has two Japanese tattoo artists and a guy from Venezuela who is being trained. He speaks fluent English if you're interested in going and don't speak much Japanese. I wasn't really nervous about it but they were friendly, professional and gave me some good advice. In the end, I abandoned trying to get one stupid font I found and went for a famous artist they recommended. You can still read the 岩 but I think it's better than a generic style that you can find on a computer font. These tend to be the type that people get done in other countries without checking anything about the kanji or the artist's ability. I hope this along with my borderline, pretentious explanation will be enough to save me from the dreaded stigma of the kanji tattoo.

The tattoo itself didn't hurt at all and felt fairly similar to that of drawing on your hand with a pen. However, my only memory of this taking place was during the 1998-99 phenomenon of forcibly scrawling your name on your friend's arm at school. The strangest thing was having my arm hair shaved off and watching the five o'clock shadow appear the next day.

I don't think I'll regret getting it done in the future. I've always fancied getting a tattoo but was never really sure of anything I wanted. I don't think images or colours are particularly attractive myself and so a black kanji seemed like a good idea. The only problem I had with this is that I tend to hate people who get kanji tattoos (or something in another language they don't really know) and those who get their own names written on them (although only in English). Therefore, I'm a hypocrite and went for almost everything that turns me off them. Nevertheless, I'm fairly pleased with the result and feel it will be happy lasting memory of my time in Japan.

Pond Bag

2011-08-02T04:30:02Z

I'm staying in an area of Tokyo called Ikebukuro because it has cheap hotels and it's quite convenient. It has a bit of a seedy area in the evening but it's Japan so it's basically nothing but a few stupid looking men trying to pull in customers. These men are skinny, ugly and have ridiculous outfits and hairstyles. Also, when it rained the other evening... almost all of them were using their umbrellas to practice their golf swings. I don't think any of them have ever played. Of course, Naomi has taken it upon herself to shout at them all as we pass them. Anyway, I was looking at the kanji （池袋）for the place the other day there and realised it's quite strange. The first part 池 means pond but the second part 袋 means bag. I see.

Anyway, I've been very busy drinking and sleeping in the past few days. We met up with Naomi's Japanese family in Yokohama a few nights ago. We ended up in a local yakitori bar that we've been to a few times before. It's just a hole in the wall but it's a cool place. We've now got about half a dozen polaroid pictures stuck to the wall there.

I was forced to go to Hello Kitty Land yesterday. I was expecting something along the lines of that Simpsons episode where they're stuck on the Itchy and Scratchy boat ride. It wasn't far off it in all honesty. It cost an absolute fortune and was a pain in the arse to get to... but it was alright I guess. The best bit was this game where you went through zones and collected coins in order to be the new Queen of Kitty's land. I took it very seriously and was quite upset when I lost all my coins at the end. I even went into Hello Kitty's house. I wanted to steal some of her stuff but it was all nailed down. I even got to meet her! What a happy day.

Last School Lunch

2011-07-31T03:22:27Z

I ate school lunch every Monday-Thursday for four years. It was quite a miserable experience that I never enjoyed unless it was Japanese curry rice. Indeed, in recent years the quality of the food greatly decreased and it became more old style Japanese. There's something quite depressing about rushing to work on an empty stomach only for your next desired meal to be nothing but pickles, roots, whole fish with guts/bone/fish eggs, konnyaku (grey jelly) and a wide variety of slimy gunk. All of which is served cold and covered in a congealed armour of mayonnaise.

I ate a cheese sandwhich every day for the 13 years I was in school so maybe it's not fair that I judge the Japanese school lunch system. Indeed, it's based on a good history as after the war, Japan was left in a near-famine conditions. The school lunch was initially introduced into elementary school in the early 1950s and was extended to junior high school a few years later. Not much has changed about it as it tries to continue a balanced diet. The cost of each lunch is about 300 yen and there's usually more than enough food for the students. I feel sorry for the younger students as their fascist teacher forces them to eat every single drop despite a few of them vomiting from time to time.

No longer will I need to eat a massive bowl of boring rice, cold/bitter pickles, fish guts and warm milk. I hated eating school lunch. Good riddance.

Turtle Freedom

2011-07-30T03:12:00Z

Naomi and I set our turtles free last week in Kochi City. It was a very emotional experience for all involved as you can imagine. It was so sad for the turtles that they couldn't help but shite all over my hands just before we said farewell. We set them free in a pond/moat next to Kochi castle which is full of other abandoned turtles and the ever present carp. Here they are enjoying their freedom:

It's the ciirrrcclllee of life...

Cheerio Tano

2011-07-29T13:56:57Z

Good evening everyone. I've actually left Kochi forever. I was hoping to write an emotional blog entry at the start of the week but I was unbelievably busy packing and cleaning. Instead, I said my final goodbye under a flurry of sweaty last minute paperwork and bloodshot eyes through a terrible lack of sleep. I'll write a proper post summing everything up at a later date but I'm very sleepy, drunk and bloated at the moment. However, here's my saying farewell to the old Japanese couple who own my favourite restaurant in Nahari. They specialise in deep fried pork... it sounds cheap and horrible but it's actually amazing.

I'm now in Ikebukuro in Tokyo with Naomi. We're here for about a week or so feasting on delights and spending all our money. I'm starting to get slightly nervous about it considering I am no officially unemployed. I'm going to get a tattoo tomorrow. I'm getting a small one on my inner forearm. I'm getting the kanji for rock (岩) as that's what my name means in Scottish. It's probably too later to talk me out of it. We're also off to climb Fuji next week although I have my doubts about my fitness. I hope I don't pass out and die on it. Here's myself and Naomi walking across Shibuya crossing whilst a little tipsy.